So it's been awhile... Exploratory laparoscopy

OMGoodness life's been crazy! Between my surgery and both of my sisters and their families getting ready to move to different states I've been soaking up family time every chance I get so blogging totally slipped my mind for awhile. Oops!

About my surgery--The experience

           I went in at 5:30am on March 19th for my exploratory laparoscopy. I think scariest part was getting the IV. I HATE needles and it stung so bad but other than that the whole pre-op was great. They came to get me at 7:30am and of course because I'm a huge baby I cried and then laughed at myself while crying...for crying. Hubby was super great at keeping me calm and my nerves under control. On the way back to the operating room they gave me something through my IV to "relax me". (Or make me a total out of my mind dumbass) I remember getting to the room, saying that it looked weird in there, asking what all those people were doing there and then they put the gas on and I was OUT. When I woke up in recovery I remember asking what time it was and then asking where my husband was probably 100 times. Then my Dr came to talk to me and explain what all they found but I'll go into detail on that in a minute. I felt like I was going to pee on myself so my nurse helped me to the bathroom where I peed the tiniest bit but felt so much better. Once that was done they moved me from a bed to a chair where Hubby and my Moma got to come with me. They helped me get dressed and my Dr came to check on me again, said I was doing great, and let me go home. I relaxed and slept on and off the rest of the day. The I was sore but only had pain when I tried to sit up or down. The gas was the worst part. I don't think I've ever burped and farted more in my life then I did the week after the surgery. Had a checkup 2 weeks post-op where we decided if I'm not pregnant within 4 months I'll go back in and decide if we want to pursue any new options at that time. My stitches fell out 2 days later and now 2 months later my scaring is very minimal.


The surgery in depth-Turns out my hoohah WAS broken!

             The doctor made 3 small incisions, one inside my bellybutton and two on my lower  abdomen at the pubic hair line. (What else do you call that area?) I'm not sure when but at some point during the surgery they shot dye through my cervix and into fallopian tubes to check for blockages and there were none. They filled my abdomen with gas to lift the abdominal wall away from my organs. When they got inside looking around there was a LOT of scar tissue. My right ovary was completely covered which means no egg could get out. My left tube was coated with scar tissue (ST) and attached to my abdominal wall. The left ovary had been pulled out of place by the ST and was snuggled up behind and underneath my uterus. They removed all of the ST and put everything back in its right place and sewed me up. My stomach muscles were sore for about a week. For about 2 weeks after that when I sat down or stood up I felt a slight pull in my bellybutton but just had to use my arms more, nothing major.


I'm so glad I finally got the nerve to go to the doctor and figure all this out. For so long I was to scared to make that first appointment because I didn't want to hear someone tell me there was a problem. It's still scary and I'm still nervous and I know I'm not out of the woods yet but I'm so proud of myself for taking the first step to getting on the right track to become a mother. For anyone who is afraid to make the first call, do it. The peace of mind that knowing your actually doing something about it is amazing. No I'm not pregnant yet. Yes there could still be other things wrong. But having a plan and doctor as awesome as the one I have makes it all just a little bit easier.

I'm in the middle of cycle 2 post-op. Maybe this is the one, maybe not, but I know in my soul that one day I will be a wonderful mother to an even more wonderful child....and I will appreciate it all so much more because of my journey to get there.

Waiting....

I am the most impatient person in the world. I hate waiting on anything. For red lights to turn green. For my hubby to get off work. For someone to text back. It's a flaw of mine that I have no shame about and is usually just a short period of mild annoyance. But I have learned that when it comes to waiting on the doctor to return my calls.....that mild annoyance turns into raging anxiety. Right now I'm waiting for them to call back to see when we can schedule my surgery and how much we'll have to pay. Gotta love new years and new deductibles. Thankfully we do have very good insurance and from what my hubby has found out through work they should hopefully be able to work with us on whatever we are faced with.

 Sorry this is so short...back to laundry I go!

Busy busy busy....

Goodness gracious! Life has been non-stop for the past week and a half and it's finally starting to slow down. The hubs and I had 7 Christmases in 4 days. It was a little insane but wonderful to have so much family time.

On to the real business now....

We got hubby's analysis results in last Monday...They were AMAZING! A bunch of good looking little swimmers. I feel like I should be way happier about this than I am. I hate not knowing what's wrong.

I had an appointment with my RE this morning to discuss what our next step is. He said we could do a dye test to see if my tubes are blocked, then if they are move on to surgery. But then also if they're not he'd still suggest the surgery to see if it could be endometriosis. We talked about it and I opted to just have the surgery so he can check for blockages and endometriosis all at once. Hubs completely agrees with me to just get it all done and get things figured out as soon as possible. So now we'll just have to wait until the end of January or Febuary for it to be the right time in my cycle.

My anxiety is at an all time high with surgery in the cards now. I used to take medicine for OCD and anxiety until I learned to control it on my own. My sweet chihuahua can tell I'm worked up today because ever since I got home he has just layed in my lap and tried to lick my tears anytime I started crying. He always tries to make me better... I don't know what I'd do without my lil Boo :)

I know this was super ramblely....my mind is all over the place today. Maybe I'll be more normal tomorrow. On a high note, the hubby's friend that had been staying with us since he got out of the Navy moved out this past weekend so I finally have my office back and will hopefully be blogging more often! Yay!

So I lied.

I have 2 really close friends (who already have kids) that have known about my journey from the beginning. And I have regretted telling them from day one.

"Oh it's probably just timing, are y'all having sex the 14th day of your cycle?"

"Y'all are still so young, you have time."

"Maybe y'all just aren't ready for a baby yet." (That one hurt coming from a "best friend")

I couldn't handle it anymore.

So I lied.

I told them after I got my most recent test results that we decided to take a break from the doctor and that we had some things we wanted to do before we have a baby anyway. I felt horrible for lying and sad to not have them to talk about it with but if rather have no one than people who don't understand. And I don't blame them or hate them. They said things they thought would help and if I weren't going through this I probably wouldn't know what to say either.

So for now, I'm enjoying my pity party all by myself.

My hoohah is broken!?!?

That's right...we're talking about hoohahs (aka vaginas).

I'll start from the beginning. My husband and I have been together 4 years. We have also been having unprotected sex for 4 years.

We have no babies.

The problem with this is that for couples having regular unprotected sex, pregnancy should come sometime in a year. After that, it's considered infertility.

And we've gone 4............
See the problem?

So a month ago while seeing my new girly doctor, who is also an RE (a reproductive endocrinologist aka a fertility specialist) I told him about being worried because it's been so long. He told me out loud the thing I knew all along but wouldn't dare say. Infertility. My hoohah is broken. Not able to do on its own the one thing it's made for. I cried the rest of the day. 

Fast forward a week to my sweet hubby's SA (sperm analysis). His results come back borderline and they want to do another test.      Are You Fucking Kidding Me!! 

Fast forward to later in the week, my first test. A progesterone test the 21st day of my cycle to see if I ovulated. My results come back borderline and they want to test again the next cycle.         
                                                Are You Fucking Kidding Me!!


Yesterday I got my next test done and it showed I DID ovulate this month. (At least my hoohah can do one thing right) and tomorrow we'll turn in my husbands new SA and find out how that goes.

I'll let y'all know ASAP!



Mrs. Jones

Who am I?

Let's start with the basics.....

I'm a 23 year old housewife.

I've been married to my wonderful husband 2 years. We've been together 4.

I have 2 fur-babies that I treat as though they're my children.

This is my infertility journey. I don't know how long or short or interesting it will be but it's mine. I will be honest. I'll probably be bitchy at times. And I will definitely cuss a LOT. There will be laughter and tears but I'm here to share it all.

Mrs. Jones